i will admit, that i'm pro at putting stuff like this off. i think about writing on here every day, and then something happens and i just don't. oh well. i remember when i USE to do it every single day. but i don't think too many people really care, so. i'm not too worried.

the last few days have been pretty swell(:

ughh. i'm just kinda bummed right now cause i miss zakk. i know i saw him friday, but still. after every time i go over there, it seems to get harder and harder to leave every time. it drives me nuts. i don't know why, i just feel like crying right now. it's pissing me off.

i think it has a lot to do with the fact that i've never had an actual relationship like this before. i mean, yeah! i've had tons of boyfriends, but everyone knows that they never last long. and i've been with zakk for awhile now. i just miss him all the time, and i've never had to miss anyone before. i mean, other than my mom cause i only got to see her every other weekend. ugh, i'm making no sense, am i? cause now it's flipped and i never get to see my dad..

maybe it's cause i didn't want to. cause he's always surrounded by the ones i don't wana have anything to do with.. ):

it's just two different circumstances. i love him a different way, and all i want to do is be with him 24/7. it's messing with me. ahaha(: i've never been so happy in my life. when i'm with him i smile more than ever, and well. you already know i smile too much for my own good.

but you know what bugs me? i wish i knew why i did this..

when i'm with him, sometime i just think about how much it's guna suck when i have to leave. or how in a few days afterwords, i'm guna be sitting around being sad about it LIKE THIS! why on earth would i do that? it just bums me out. GRRR..

i need to go to the mall soon. follow up on job stuff. i really want that job at american eagle. i hope that one works out. mom got mad cause i slept in late today. WELL! wake me up then!! D:

i wana go running tomorrow. i think i'm guna do that once i get up(: maybe drag mom with me(: i'm really proud of you mama for the whole smoking thing. i wish i knew how hard it was, but it's understandable. i love you(:

blah.

i wish i knew the other people that read this regularly, cause i'd say hi to you too(:

ahah shell? i miss you. text me or call me soon. i wana see you..

K BYE.