living here, i knew was something that would be a big change. but i didn't think it would be quite this big. it's kind of like when you see a building from far away, then you stand underneath it, and you look up. you just feel like your mind was playing tricks on you. i guess this isn't as dramatic, but to me i guess it kind of is in a way. i know that i have a problem when it comes to trying to make others happy. for as long as i can remember, that's how it is with me most of the time. i just want everyone else to be happy. everything affects me, and i wish i could learn to shut out certain people or situations.
i'm not the kind of person to ''hate'' anyone. i don't like the feeling. but in the past few months, i have never wanted to cuss someone out so bad in my entire life. i am DONE with being treated like i'm some kind of rug you can walk all over. alright ''step mom''.. tell my dad that his daughter is the spawn of satan. you might as well. hah. you must have fallen when no one was looking to think that you raised a couple of angels. you know, the devil started out as an angel. he now rules hell. that's all i'm sayin. haha
you can say all you want that i'm a child. a little girl. and that i don't know how to take care of myself. but you know what, i was the one that finally decided that i was going to do something for myself. i know that age is a number, and yes. i know that just because i turn that age that i don't suddenly know everything. i may be young, and i may have a lot to learn, but unlike you, i accepted that, along with the fact that i'm still pretty damn smart.
so i make a few mistakes.
did you know that you only live once? and that you only have so many days? yeah. we're limited on time. well i decided that i don't want to be an old lady with a bunch of worthless regrets. all they do is sit in the back of your mind and slowly make you feel like sh*t and then you have a meltdown. so what if you take a different route from the one that might have been a little better. you know what you do? you DEAL WITH IT. you get through it and you move on. try a little better next time.. if you make another bad decision, fix it.
i don't serve myself with pitty for the wrong choices i've made. yeah, in the moment you kinda wana punch yourself a few dozen times, and you hate that you now have something you have to fix, but to be honest.. you'll live.
i don't get it sometimes. why are people such dicks?
seriously? you guna live your life being a PENIS?
whatever. it's your life..
you're about as useful to this world as a guy with an erectile disfunction,
stuck in a room with a hooker.
and no pills to help.
yeah:
USELESS.
infact, you kind of remind me of an STD that you can't get rid of..
blahh. i really miss my boyfriend. like, a freakin lot.
we keep getting in these stupid arguments about NOTHING.
earlier he didn't say goodnight, so i texted him and he said,
''i'm trying to sleep. i have to get up at 8:30''.. WELL.
stupid stuff like that. he's so mean when he's in a bad mood. and most of the time, it's NEVER my fault that he's upset.
i love him to death though. he's my honey and i adore him. he's so sweet. he always wants to kiss me and cuddle. alwayssss. i'm crazy about him. everything he does. his voice. (: woah. i think that's the first smiley of this whole post. hah. see, i love him.
i'm texting him right now. ughh. i miss the little bugger. we always have too much fun together. even if we're just watching tv. we both laugh at the same things, and we never go 5 minutes without kissing(: he's such a brat too. just has to have my undivided attention when i'm with him(: it's too cute..
i get to see him on thursday. tomorrow i guess!! (: it's already wednesday.. woooah.
yesterday i went to the mall and got like.. 30 applications(: i really wana work there. i would love that. i drove myself there! i have NEVER been to the mall by myself before. it's just WRONG. it was kind of nice to have some time alone though. get out of the house, go for a drive(: then today i got up early and went and registered for my GED and had my first two tests today. first was math, then a few hours later i took the reading one. i was so worried about the math one. hahah but i passed them both(: i have two more on thursday and then the last one next tuesday i think.(: i'm so glad to get that out of the way. i hated school. kinda:P
things can only go up from here.
i need to go now. i'm tired and the way i'm sitting is making my neck mad at me.
bye erryonee(:
OH! by the way;
my brother started a blog(: he's pretty funny.
he talks about his girlfriend a lot in it, but.. then
again, i write about the most pointless stuff. haha
check it out;
http://ahomesickspartan.blogspot.com/
